What is masturbation?
Masturbation involves the stimulation of the genitals to achieve sexual arousal. Areas of stimulation commonly include the clitoris, anus, vagina, or penis.
Do women masturbate?
Absolutely. Masturbation is not just an activity that men enjoy. While men may talk about it more often, women often masturbate too. In the TENGA 2018 Global Self-Pleasure Study, the average frequency is 4.2 times a week amongst the women surveyed (n=389). Overall, as attitudes towards masturbation are changing, more women are more open to share about their experiences.
Is masturbation healthy/normal?
Yes, it is perfectly normal for people of all genders to masturbate. Masturbation helps you to know what you like or do not like. Additionally, with practice, masturbation helps men (and women) to control their orgasms.
Will masturbation give me better orgasms?
Maybe. Masturbation can help to train men to control their orgasms better. It can also help you to know what stimulates you. You may also maturbate together with your partner as part of foreplay. I recommend a website called OMGyes featuring ordinary women that educates and empowers women to masturbate themselves and provides tips and trips to enhance your experience. It can be used by both women and couples who want to know more about sexual pleasure and explore it together. Nonetheless, do not fret if you do not achieve an orgasm during your masturbation. More will be addressed on this topic below!
Is there a way to masturbate?
There is no right way to masturbate. Some may stimulate themselves by stroking their penises or fingering their anuses, others stroke their clitoris using their fingers or use sex toys to penetrate their vaginas or anuses. Masturbation can be done while you are alone or with your partner.
Is masturbation safe?
Yes, unless you try to masturbate while operating heavy machinery such as driving! Jokes aside, masturbation is safe for everyone. Masturbation, like all things related to sex, has a stigma associated with it. Some may have heard a lot of untruths about masturbation while growing up. It does not stunt your growth, you will not use up all your sperm reserves, and you will not grow acne or hair or warts on your palms. When you are masturbating alone, there is no chance of getting infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or becoming pregnant. Of course, when you masturbate with a partner (or with multiple partners), there is a small chance of transmitting STDs if you touch someone else’s genitals before touching your own or if you share sex toys. Bodily fluids such as sperm may remain on your fingers (or sex toys). Just be sure to wash your hands before you touch yourself and clean your sex toys after each use.
How often should I masturbate? Can I masturbate more than 1 time a day?
This is a very common question. Statistics show that the frequency of masturbation varies across gender and ages. It is your personal choice as to how often you choose to masturbate. It is also normal to masturbate more than once a day, likewise it is normal to masturbate a few times a year or not masturbate at all. Some may derive lots of pleasure out of masturbation, and some not; our sexual preferences and needs are very different from one another and there is no “magic” number for how often you masturbate.
Is there something wrong with me if I don’t like to masturbate/don’t achieve an orgasm when I masturbate?
Not at all. It is okay if you do not like to masturbate. For some people, it may be that whatever they are doing is not right for them, and all they have to do is experiment with different ways to masturbate. It takes some time and lots of patience to understand what works for you and what turns you on. Some may also find the experience to be pleasurable but do not achieve an orgasm.
However, if you have tried many times and failed to achieve an orgasm, or if you simply do not enjoy masturbation, it does not mean that you are abnormal. However, you may ask yourself why you do not enjoy masturbation. If you are not enjoying the process out of guilt or shame, then you may need to address this issue. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being asexual, or simply lacking the desire to masturbate.
How Does Masturbation Boost Mental Wellness?
Mental Wellness is an active process of thinking, feeling, and acting in a beneficial way. Even if your mental health may be down, for example with mental illness, the Mental Wellness approach offers a fulfilling life. By exploring yourself through masturbation, you gain new insights into your life that can help you flourish. The opposite of this is languishing, the state of feeling empty, apathetic, and restless.
The insights that masturbation stimulates are related to both a deeper understanding of the body and stronger connection with your sexual preferences. Neglecting the body’s needs, whether sexual or not, only serves in diminishing the body and mind.
A vital need is sleep, and masturbation can induce it. Besides, masturbation may release sexual tension, lower stress, and lift mood. If sexual urges or interests invite anxiety or guilt, professional intervention would be helpful. Other cues to seek assistance is when mood or daily life seem to be affected by masturbation. Fortunately, the idea that masturbation can cause depression is a myth.
This Valentine’s Day, we have partnered with frankie to write about the ups and downs of relationships. To learn more about relationships and how to build a healthy relationship, check out our Ultimate Guide to Building a Healthy Relationship or 5 Signs Your Relationship is So Stressful That It's Unhealthy or 6 Ways Sex is Good For Your Health
This piece was brought to you in collaboration with frankie